152

Stress about the move

I feel like I never want to stop eating. I know it is mostly stress and probably the junk I eat when I am stressed exasperates the feelings but I don't know how to get out of it. 

149...need to break out of this rut

Ever since I have stopped Isagenix I have been in a rut if eating LOTS and LOTS of bread and even some sugar. It is like I am trying to make up for lost time. My hair also started falling out again which makes me think my body does NOT like being right at 1000 calories or is missing the carbs.

I am not sure where to go next...part of me wants to stop worrying about it. Part of me hates my squishy body and that I get winded running up the stairs. I want to stop feeling anxious, sad because we are no longer having babies and trying to use food to comfort me. I have thought of going to counseling but I already feel like I know what they are going to say so why spend the money.

I want to be happy for all of those new mamas and daddys instead of being jealous of them. I don't want to avoid certain people just because it makes me sad to be reminded that we can no longer have kids. The being up all night, intense pain of nursing, or having to be constantly watch and entertain them. Our kids are at the point where they are becoming more independent and don't constantly need me. Maybe that is part of the reason that I am sad is because they don't constantly need me and can be on there on own. I need to find happiness so I can or we all can enjoy them growing up instead complaining they are growing up and I am missing it.

I have tried talking to Joe and he is a great listener but I feel like it is the same discussion and we never change our behaviors.

Stopping Ingenix and Starting Cassie's Plan 43 Days until Jul 17th

Goals...

I stopped Isagenix because I was having an allergic reaction, it was expensive and I was not on board. I feel a little sad know because ALL of my friends including Laura, Lisa and Heidi are all doing it and are losing lots of weight. Lisa is down 20 lbs and is at 120. Laura is below 120 pounds and trying to get to 24%. I am sitting at 150 and at 34% fat. I need to get a handle on this.

I am going back to trying Cassie's Protein shakes.

Plan
- Breakfast 170 - Protein powder 90, Dynamic Greens 40, and Almond Milk 40
- Snack 150
- Lunch 170 - Protein powder 90, Dynamic Greens 40, and Almond Milk 40
- Snack 150
- Dinner 400
TOTAL Approximately 1100 calories

Plus Vitamins and Supplements 

The last week I have been binging and I feel yucky, fat, heartburn and tired.

I am stressed about the move; packing up our house and get all of the extra stuff out of the house.

I am stressed because it is hard to enjoy my kids and spend so much time yelling at them.

I am stressed from the drive back and forth to work and there is so much to do at work. I could easily be there 40 hours a week and Kristen would still need more.

For the next 43 days I want to try to eat healthy, work out 30 minutes most days, and sleep 8 hours a day.

I want to prove you don't need Isogenix. I want to show Laura I can lose the weight. I want to be in control

150.8, 33.7 period