Ever since I have stopped Isagenix I have been in a rut if eating LOTS and LOTS of bread and even some sugar. It is like I am trying to make up for lost time. My hair also started falling out again which makes me think my body does NOT like being right at 1000 calories or is missing the carbs.
I am not sure where to go next...part of me wants to stop worrying about it. Part of me hates my squishy body and that I get winded running up the stairs. I want to stop feeling anxious, sad because we are no longer having babies and trying to use food to comfort me. I have thought of going to counseling but I already feel like I know what they are going to say so why spend the money.
I want to be happy for all of those new mamas and daddys instead of being jealous of them. I don't want to avoid certain people just because it makes me sad to be reminded that we can no longer have kids. The being up all night, intense pain of nursing, or having to be constantly watch and entertain them. Our kids are at the point where they are becoming more independent and don't constantly need me. Maybe that is part of the reason that I am sad is because they don't constantly need me and can be on there on own. I need to find happiness so I can or we all can enjoy them growing up instead complaining they are growing up and I am missing it.
I have tried talking to Joe and he is a great listener but I feel like it is the same discussion and we never change our behaviors.
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